pretty redhead seeks:
smarty-pants with a thing for classical statuary

Hi, Elsie here.

I know you’re busy, so let's be efficient.

Below is a concise overview of my vital statistics.

Less concise? Find my interview, or lurk my substack and twitter.

Further down, you’ll find my photo portfolio.

(if you haven’t already lingered there).

If what you see resonates, I welcome your contact.

If you’re the sort of man drawn to me, you’re likely knowledge-oriented and particular about details.

The key information should help satisfy that instinct.

Teach me something new? Enable my reading habit.

Gift ideas live under favours.

📍 Currently: a chilly London town

Age: late 20s

Complexion: pale; ginger hair, blue eyes

Build: slender, unenhanced

Height: 175 cm / 5'9"

Weight: 57 kg / 125 lb

Measurements: 91-64-95 cm / 36-25-38"

Vices: non-smoker (non-vaping); light drinker

Education: BA & MA

Orientation: bisexual

Location: London, summoned stateside when the corporate overlords deem it so

Travel: yes. Duh.

Synopsis: verbose, terminally punctual, not overly serious, loves romantics, known to haunt antique jewellery stores.

Quite pretty.

NDA experienced, enquire.

Through these small exploits, I’m hoping to meet a man
as interested as I am in seeing my naked form
captured for the ages —

in marble,
bronze,
oil paint,
ink.

Ideally all of the above. Possibly more.

I like my chances.

Will you be the Pygmalion to my Galatea?

EBB

Key Information

Rates

Booking Process

Key Information

1500 GBP

You know it, you love it.

~2-3hrs spent publicly, ~2hrs spent privately

~5 hours total

Much to my delight, dinners and extended dinners constitute the vast majority of my time! And somehow I manage to preserve my physique alongside it. Call it witchcraft.

I have no allergies, and an extensive palette that stops short only of blue cheese (it actives my fight or flight response...)

Note: for social dates, I make a point of not clock-watching. This doesn't mean I'm unreasonable to myself, but I sometimes the kitchen is overrun and we get our mains late, or it takes an age to get a cab. I give time indications above instead of specific hours to allow for the curves life can throw.

2000 GBP

From the end of the work day until after the clock strikes midnight - for a West End show, a private gallery viewing, or attempting to steal one of the royal swans from St James's Park.

~3-4hrs spent publicly, ~3hrs spent privately

~7 hours total

3000 GBP

Known to contain: dinner and/or a show, another show entirely for personal viewing, I may thwack you with a pillow, scalp and neck massage, etc...

~2-3hrs spent publicly, ~4hrs spent privately, ~7hrs of rest

~14hrs total

1 day - 4000 GBP

2 day - 6000 GBP

3 day - 7500 GBP

All additional days - please enquire

There always seems to be some uncertainty about multi-day bookings from both sides, so let me help us both and outline my preferences from the jump. I'm sure you'll appreciate it.

I am only human, and so are you. If we're spending days together, I do not need to be constantly entertained (or really even want to). Many men seem to think that a breakfast, lunch and dinner all need to be booked ahead, plus an activity or two every day, and honestly it's all a bit too much. We're human! Please, make a dinner reservation (or lunch) somewhere fun, let's set an itinerary for what we'd like to do, but I beg you let us have some downtime. I'm a self entertaining model, and I don't have social media brain where I need a new stimulus thrown in my face every second. Quiet moments are valuable.

Likewise, I am an introvert (don't be fooled by my ability to charm a brick wall). I want to be polite but very open about this - I need a couple of hours to myself each day to decompress and recharge my social battery. Maybe you do too? We introverts always seem to want to soldier on for the sake of others, but if we're both introverts and both want to be quiet for a while, why not just say it and let everyone take it down a gear? Don't be offended by my need for time alone, it's not an insult. But if you want me to be glued to you 24/7, respectfully, we are not compatible.

Enquiry

First impressions matter, and we get but one to use!

Please send me an email with the following information (copy/paste for ease):

How you found me

First and last name

Preferred mode of contact, and contact details (email, whatsapp, telegram, signal)

Date location

Date timing options

Date duration

Preferred method of light social screening (linkedin, work email, drivers license)

Preferred method of 20% deposit (Revolut, discreet online platform, crypto, bank transfer, earnest money)

Extra credit questions:

Tell me a weird quirk you have?

What topic do you think we'll connect most over?

Genghis Khan takes over your day job for 24 hours. On a scale of 1-10 how well suited is he to the job, and how many people end up dying?

Please direct to:

e.b.buchanan@pm.me

Note that all enquiries with incomplete or partial information will not receive a response.

Favours

Somebody once said that the greatest gift we get is time.

Wrong, it's actually rare first editions!

Also, weirdly patterned socks.

I keep a wishlist of titles over on Throne, under 'the reading pile'.

To those so inclined, check out 'material girl' as well for pieces of silk and lace.

If we're playing penthouse pets, let's go the whole way and let you pick my outfits.

Sizes listed below, but if you are at all unsure don't hesitate to ask me.

Tops: 32C; UK 8 / US 4

Waist: XS / XXS; UK 6 / US 2

Bottoms: S; UK 8 / US 4

For the classic romantics out there (I know there's a lot of you), here's a hint: I love strange, sculptural flowers.

The redder, the better.

For the gourmands out there, have you tried the Marie Antoinette Tea macarons from Laduree yet?

I'm a fiend for them.

The Interview

Why do you hide your face? Can I see it?

I have a career and life outside of being Elsie, which should be justification enough.

Also, I can't provide the type of discretion in public to the men I see if I'm a known, identifiable figure. I go to a lot of restaurants and events and the like. No-one needs to know who I am.

And yes, of course you can see my face. When we meet in real life. It's a very pretty face, I can highly recommend it.

Fine, then who are your celebrity look-alikes?

I don't get compared to celebrities too often, so I don't really know. I have however been told that the women in The Kelpie (Herbert James Draper, 1913), Flaming June (Sir Frederic Leighton, 1895), and Madeleine au Réveil (Augustin Peene, 1893) look like me, which I think is (probably too) high praise.

Yes, I have actually been told I look like those three artworks, I'm not making it up. I attract lovers and sensualists, what can I say?

What sort of clothing do you wear to dates?

My go-to for afternoons and evenings is office appropriate and feminine, think heels, slacks and a button up. For dinners and events out, I dress it up a bit more, maybe a long dress, maybe mini skirt and turtleneck. If we're going about in the daytime I look great in blue jeans and a white tee. If you want the neighbours to literally not notice me I'll don activewear. Discretion isn't just for your benefit, it's also for mine.

Underneath however? Full three-piece set with rolled-hem stockings, or commando. Roll the dice.

Do you see couples?

Yes. Hand over your wife.

Do you do duos?

Yes, I have one close friend who I trust and will do duos with. I'll make a seperate page about her eventually but for now, know that we're an exceptionally well-matched pair: same height, similar build, complimentary complexions. She's a tan brunette with a megawatt smile, she has a razor-sharp intellect but is one of the most humble, kind people out there. I love her dearly.

I suggest planning a duo date as far in advance as possible, as she also has a full time career and commitments.

Will you see me with other professional ladies?

Of course, I'd love to.

If you do, I suggest we plan extra time for us to all sip something nice and become well acquainted. It does a lot of the heavy lifting for the rest of the evening...

Do you have an incall?

No, I do not have an incall.

If you would prefer for me to arrange the hotel for privacy reasons, this can happily be accomodated. The cost of this will be discussed and approved with you during the phone call in the enquiry process, and will be added to the deposit required to secure our date.

What's your educational background? Industry?

I have two degrees, one that's artsy and one that's business-y. I don't necessarily use what I learnt in them in the day-to-day of my work, but they look great on a CV, and isn't that really what most non-technical degrees are anyway?

Work is a dangerously niche industry so I stay mum about that, but it affords me a lot of satisfaction and leeway for travel.

Why did you decide to start doing this if you have a good life outside of it?

I like money. I like travelling. I like buying antiques. I like interesting men. I like powerful men. I like when powerful men give me money and take me travelling and buy me antiques. I take my sensuality very seriously across all the senses. I'm young and I'm beautiful. You'd do it as well if you were me!

Will you ever go public about this?

Nope.

How do you spend most of your time?

The corporate overlords dictate my 9-6 weekdays, and my beloved friends dictate a fair chunk of the rest. When left to my own devices however...

I'm a world class people watcher and the worlds best armchair anthropologist.

I may also be the worlds worst armchair economist.

Recovering scholarship kid, so I'm learning how to take work seriously, but not that seriously.

On the streets of London they call me The Mach Five Nightmare on account of the lethal combination of long legs + fast gait. I sometimes walk two hours a day, not even for fitness, just pleasure (silver lining: I have great calves).

I'm a huge bookworm, sadly.

Sometimes my friends drag me by the ankles out of my comfy home to shmooze around Mayfair with them, antics ensue. Have you ever had a £200 flute of champagne accidentally dumped on your chest by the guy you're trying to have a conversation with? Heavy air-quotes on the "accidentally" fwiw.

Birdwatching.

Clay shooting (unrelated to birdwatching)

I collect vintage Playboy mags - 1953 to 1979. Only 313 editions, that's light work.

I've been known to grab cheap flights and go exploring somewhere off the beaten path in Europe for a few days by myself (without telling anyone I'm leaving - I just disappear).

I've been reliably informed that I don't live a normal life.

Update: I have some new hobbies to add to this list:

Looking at myself nude in full-length triptych mirrors.

Watching the waiters expression of dismay and mortification when I deliberately pick the best scotch on the list to have made into my Old Fashioned.

Throw a bunch of acronyms at me to give an indication of your personality!

INTP

Enneagram 5w4

The worlds most Apollonian presenting Venusian?

What are your pet-peeves? Little things you appreciate?

People who chew gum. People who chew their food with an open mouth. Obnoxious lip smacking and/or mouth noises. Freud would have something to say about me being highly critical of those with an oral fixation, and I disagree. I think the mouth is a highly sensuous part of the body and I hate to see it being used so crudely.

I love punctuality. People who don't take themselves so seriously.

What are your top recommendations for books and films?

Against Nature (À rebours) by J K Huysmans. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (very hot, no sarcasm). In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin. Divine Enticement by Karmen Mackendrick.

Any of the old Bond films (or the TV series The Sandbaggers for its more grounded counterpart)

What gives you a thrill?

Watching men play poker. I don't care to play poker, I don't really want to learn how to play it either. I just like watching men play, I like watching to see who will win and who will lose. It's a very civilised form of modern bloodsport.

Sometimes when I'm passing by a field where men are playing a sport like rugby or football, I slow down and make it a little obvious that I'm watching them. I like seeing them notice me and immediately start tussling each-other harder, trying to show off. It's good clean fun, they know exactly what they're doing, and so do I. Then I walk on and let them settle down.

I like watching men tussle. I would've been right at home in the Colosseum in its heyday. Let's not think too much about what that says about me as a person...

What sort of men do you like?

Intellectuals. Romantics. You were probably a (covert) nerd in school. Odd-balls. Men with a longing for something lost in a bygone era, a bygone sense of human relations. Dionysians with an Apollonian core. Men who like to indulge. Men who like to tussle. Smarty-pantses. Men with opinions, a sense of curiosity about the world. Those who consider themselves neurodiverse are in good company.

For those interested, I'm a magnet for men in high finance, cryptography, diplomacy, and there's a weirdly high preponderance of men in property development (??). I'm a darling of the C-suite. There's a pattern but I'm still trying to decipher it.

You write really verbosely. Are you like this in real life as well?

No, I'm worse.

Your pictures and Q&A are making me parasocially fall for you

Awww shucks. Come meet me in real life and let's get rid of the parasocial bit.