"PLEASURE BECOMES HER"
I'm sure you're a busy man, so I won't beat around the bush (haha). Please find below a terribly efficient rundown of my vital statistics, and scroll further for my photo portfolio (if you haven't already devoured it).
If you like what you see, I look forward to your contact.
If you're the type of man who's interested in me, you're probably very knowledge oriented and have a need to get specifics. You'll find this satisfied by reading the key information.
📍 Current location: a grey and rainy London
Age - late 20's
Complexion - pale, ginger hair & blue eyes
Body type - slender, unenhanced
Height - 175cm (5'9)
Weight - 57kg (125lbs)
Measurements - 91-64-95cm (36-25-38in)
Vices - non-smoking (& non-vaping), light drinker
Education - BA & MA
Orientation - bisexual
Location - home base London, sometimes summoned to the Bay and the Tri-State
Travel - yes. Duh.
Synopsis - verbose, terminally punctual, not overly serious, loves romantics, known to haunt antique jewellery stores. Quite pretty.
NDA experienced, enquire.
If you want the long version, scroll for my Q&A, or feel free to follow my substack and twitter, where you'll hear a lot more of my externalised internal monologue. My want-to-read list (and more) can be found on throne.
Kind regards,
Elsie
Accounting, Logistics & Key Information:
Enquiry:
First impressions matter!
Please send me an email with the following information (copy/paste for ease):
How you found me (twitter, tryst, etc)
Your first and last name
Preferred mode of contact, and contact details (email, whatsapp, telegram, signal)
Date location
Date timing options
Date duration
Preferred method of light social screening (linkedin, work email, drivers license)
Preferred method of 20% deposit (discreet online platform, crypto, bank transfer, earnest money)
Extra credit questions:
Tell me a weird quirk you have?
What topic do you think we'll connect most over?
Genghis Khan takes over your day job for 24 hours. On a scale of 1-10 how well suited is he to the job, and how many people end up dying?
Please direct all enquiries to:
Note that all enquiries with incomplete or partial information will not receive a response.
How do you operate? How do you think?
This is a glorified FAQ section, if you have any latent questions or concerns floating around, this is likely to answer them.
Why do you hide your face? Can I see it?
I have a career and life outside of being Elsie, which should be justification enough.
Also, I can't provide the type of discretion in public to the men I see if I'm a known, identifiable figure. I go to a lot of restaurants and events and the like. No-one needs to know who I am.
And yes, of course you can see my face. When we meet in real life. It's a very pretty face, I can highly recommend it.
Fine, then who are your celebrity look-alikes?
I don't get compared to celebrities too often, so I don't really know. I have however been told that the women in The Kelpie (Herbert James Draper, 1913), Flaming June (Sir Frederic Leighton, 1895), and Madeleine au Réveil (Augustin Peene, 1893) look like me, which I think is (probably too) high praise.
Yes, I have actually been told I look like those three artworks, I'm not making it up. I attract lovers and sensualists, what can I say?
What sort of clothing do you wear to dates?
My go-to for afternoons and evenings is office appropriate and feminine, think heels, slacks and a button up. For dinners and events out, I dress it up a bit more, maybe a long dress, maybe mini skirt and turtleneck. If we're going about in the daytime I look great in blue jeans and a white tee. If you want the neighbours to literally not notice me I'll don activewear. Discretion isn't just for your benefit, it's also for mine.
Underneath however? Full three-piece set with rolled-hem stockings, or commando. Roll the dice.
Do you see couples?
Yes. Hand over your wife.
Do you do duos?
Yes, I have one close friend who I trust and will do duos with. I'll make a seperate page about her eventually but for now, know that we're an exceptionally well-matched pair: same height, similar build, complimentary complexions. She's a tan brunette with a megawatt smile, she has a razor-sharp intellect but is one of the most humble, kind people out there. I love her dearly.
I suggest planning a duo date as far in advance as possible, as she also has a full time career and commitments.
Will you see me with other professional ladies?
Of course, I'd love to.
I only ask that if you do, you plan extra time for us to sip something nice and get to know one-another properly. It does a lot of the heavy lifting for chemistry and fun.
Do you have an incall?
No, I do not have an incall.
If you would prefer for me to arrange the hotel for privacy reasons, this can happily be accomodated. The cost of this will be discussed and approved with you during the phone call in the enquiry process, and will be added to the deposit required to secure our date.
Who are you?
I thought you'd never ask. I'd like to think I'm more than a pretty face, but the jury's still out on that.
What's your educational background? Industry?
I have two degrees, one that's artsy and one that's business-y. I don't necessarily use what I learnt in them in the day-to-day of my work, but they look great on a CV, and isn't that really what most non-technical degrees are anyway?
Work is a dangerously niche industry so I stay mum about that, but it affords me a lot of satisfaction and leeway for travel.
Why did you decide to start doing this if you have a good life outside of it?
I like money. I like travelling. I like buying antiques. I like interesting men. I like powerful men. I like when powerful men give me money and take me travelling and buy me antiques. I take my sensuality very seriously across all the senses. I'm young and I'm beautiful. You'd do it as well if you were me!
Will you ever go public about this?
Nope.
How do you spend most of your time?
Well, apart from my civilian full time career and social life...
I'm a world class people watcher and the worlds best armchair anthropologist.
Also the worlds worst armchair economist.
Recovering scholarship kid, so I'm learning how to take work seriously, but not that seriously.
On the streets of London they call me The Mach Five Nightmare on account of the lethal combination of long legs + fast gait. I sometimes walk two hours a day, not even for fitness, just pleasure (silver lining: I have great calves).
I'm a huge bookworm, sadly.
Sometimes my friends drag me by the ankles out of my comfy home to shmooze around Mayfair with them, antics ensue. Have you ever had a £200 flute of champagne accidentally dumped on your chest by the guy you're trying to have a conversation with?
Birdwatching.
Clay shooting (unrelated to birdwatching fyi).
I collect vintage Playboy mags - 1953 to 1979. Only 313 editions, that's light work.
I've been known to grab cheap flights and go exploring somewhere off the beaten path in Europe for a few days by myself (without telling anyone I'm leaving - I just disappear).
I've been reliably informed that I don't live a normal life.
Throw a bunch of acronyms at me to give an indication of your personality!
INTP
Enneagram 5w4
The worlds most Apollonian presenting Venusian?
Uhhh?
What are your pet-peeves? Little things you appreciate?
People who chew gum. People who chew their food with an open mouth. Obnoxious lip smacking and/or mouth noises. Freud would have something to say about me being highly critical of those with an oral fixation, and I disagree. I think the mouth is a highly sensuous part of the body and I hate to see it being used so crudely.
I love punctuality. People who don't take themselves so seriously.
What are your top recommendations for books and films?
Against Nature (À rebours) by J K Huysmans. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (very hot, no sarcasm). In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin. Divine Enticement by Karmen Mackendrick.
Any of the old Bond films (or the TV series The Sandbaggers for its more grounded counterpart)
What gives you a thrill?
Watching men play poker. I don't care to play poker, I don't really want to learn how to play it either. I just like watching men play, I like watching to see who will win and who will lose. It's a very civilised form of modern bloodsport.
Sometimes when I'm passing by a field where men are playing a sport like rugby or football, I slow down and make it a little obvious that I'm watching them. I like seeing them notice me and immediately start tussling each-other harder, trying to show off. It's good clean fun, they know exactly what they're doing, and so do I. Then I walk on and let them settle down.
I like watching men tussle. I would've been right at home in the Colosseum in its heyday. Don't know what that says about me as a person...
What sort of men do you like?
Intellectuals. Romantics. You were probably a (covert) nerd in school. Odd-balls. Men with a longing for something lost in a bygone era, a bygone sense of human relations. Dionysians with an Apollonian core. Men who like to indulge. Men who like to tussle. Smarty-pantses. Men with opinions, a sense of curiosity about the world. Neurodiversity is prized.
For your curiosity, I'm a magnet for men in high finance, cryptography, diplomacy, and there's a weirdly high preponderance of men in property development (??). I'm still trying to decipher the pattern myself.
You write really verbosely. Are you like this in real life as well?
No, I'm worse.
Your pictures and Q&A are making me parasocially fall for you
Awww shucks. Come meet me in real life and let's get rid of the parasocial bit.